Finally Chapter Seven: Horse Sense

Sashi cooked the next day’s lunch.
She had been very polite about Theo’s efforts, but he was man enough to admit that, with pasta, crunchy was not the way to go.
After a beautifully prepared and not at all crunchy bean and couscous salad had been devoured, Sashi enquired as to what he was supposed to do now.
“Says here I’ve got a riding lesson,” Theo informed her, perusing his timetable. Sashi smiled.
“Then I’ll take you to meet the Horsemaster. Mr Ahern. He’s very nice, you’ll like him.”
“Uhuh,” Theo said, a little unconvinced. He was sure the Horsemaster was indeed a very nice man, but he’d always been a bit wary of horses. He’d never met one face-to-face, admittedly, but they were big animals and often on television they ran away with people, when they weren’t being treated as some kind of automaton.
But he obediently followed Sashi down to the stables, there to be left in the care of Horsemaster ‘Call me Hector’ Ahern who took to him immediately.
“Lookin’ forwards to meetin’ all the horses?” he boomed cheerfully, patting Theo on the shoulder with one huge hand. He was a big man with a broad and enthusiastic face who radiated goodwill to all men and especially those who liked horses. From what Sashi had told Theo on the way down he was also the Society’s undisputed expert on horses, donkeys, zebras, pegasi, unicorns and anything else even vaguely equine.
“Thanks for bringin’ him along, Sash,” he told Theo’s companion. “You gonna hang around?”
Shyly Sashi shook her head. “I’ve got to clean out the Hellhound pens. That’s a big job and I better start it now.”
Before anyone could object she had slipped away, leaving Theo alone with the Horsemaster and a lot of long faces regarding him with mild interest over loosebox doors.
“Ever met a horse before?” Hector enquired. Theo shook his head, and the man grinned.
“Didn’t think so. I better start your education now, then, huh? C’mon.”
He led Theo through rows of looseboxes until they fetched up outside a corner box whose grey occupant immediately stuck their nose into Hector’s hands, demanding a treat. He laughed and rubbed the white nose.
“This here’s Alyssa and the nicest mare we got in the whole stable. Sweet as a little lamb, she is, not like some. Wouldn’t hurt a fly, which would be why I’m startin’ you off on her. Right. Now, you must never offer a horse you don’t know a flat hand, yeah? They think there’s a snack there and bang goes one of your fingers ‘cause they ain’t always so observant when it comes to things what feel like carrots. Offer a closed fist, so they can smell. Go on. No sharp movements, remember that they’re prey.”
Obediently but rather nervously Theo proffered his fist to the mare. She sniffed it politely; it appeared to meet with her approval, because she regarded him hopefully with her brown eyes and gently butted her nose into his shoulder.
“She wants you to give her a scratch,” Hector informed him as he looked helplessly at the man. “Loves her scratches, does Alyssa. Reach round and rub her neck, just there under the mane. No, harder than that; she ain’t made of china. Ah, you hit the spot just there, look at her!”
Alyssa’s eyes had drooped down to almost closed and her ears began to splay slowly sideways. Hector Ahern beamed his approval.
“She’ll have you standin’ there for hours if she gets her way,” he said affectionately. “But you gotta remember, Alyssa’s a good girl who likes people but they ain’t all like that. Some of the ones we keep here, if you ain’t the right person or you don’t approach ‘em right they’ll take a lump outta your arm before you c’n say Jack Robinson, though most of ‘em are just plain scared of people. It’s the ears you gotta watch, at first; after a while you’ll get the littler clues but the ears are a good place t’start. Alyssa’s ears, right, sideways like that, that’s a relaxed beastie what doesn’t give a damn. Pricked right up, they’re curious, they wanna know what’s going on; that or they’ve seen somethin’ interestin’, like a food bowl or a friend o’theirs. But you gotta watch if they put their ears back because they ain’t happy, and if they’re flattened right back on their neck you better leave ‘em alone sharpish. Once you get t’know ‘em better you can tell when they’re just feelin’ a bit snappish and when they’re really upset, but when you’re jus’ learnin’ it’s best to be wary.”
Theo absorbed this as good sense, still scratching at Alyssa’s neck. His fingers were getting tired and he wondered if the mare would object to his stopping; but when he cautiously withdrew his hand she did nothing but sigh in a resigned manner. Mr Ahern had wandered away down the row of boxes, and now he beckoned his pupil over to meet a delicate chestnut mare.
“Now this ‘un, she’s more nervous, but go on, introduce yourself, she won’t hurt you…”
Over the course of about three-quarters of an hour Theo learnt more about horses than he had ever learnt in the whole of the rest of his life. He learned not to creep up behind them, not to let his fingers get in the way of feeding them things and his feet get in the way of their hooves, a lot of horsey vocabulary (white horses were not white, they were grey. Except when they were white…apparently, the decider was pink skin), and more than he really wanted to know about the fates of those who had underestimated these creatures. The Horsemaster seemed to have an endless stock of these rather horrible stories.
And yet, his undoubted enthusiasm and love for the animals was infectious, as was his good humour, and Theo found himself enjoying it all immensely. The horses were still a little worrying; they seemed to decide whether they liked him or not arbitrarily on the spot, and react accordingly without any warning he could see; but they certainly weren’t as scary as he’d vaguely expected them to be and one or two actually really seemed to like him.
He’d got rather a shock the first time one of his companionable scratches had led to the horse returning the gesture with her lips on his shoulder, but apparently this was perfectly natural and indeed very friendly and called mutual grooming.
One or two of the horses also tried to bite him for not much reason, but this apparently wasn’t to be taken personally.
It was while he was carefully introducing himself to a rather nervy piebald gelding that Hector glanced at his watch and said,
“Do you want to pick out your own beastie now?”
Theo’s startled reaction made the piebald toss his black-and-white blotched head in sudden alarm and retreat to the back of his stable.
“You mean a horse of my own?”
“Yeah, sure! A horse is a hunter’s best pal. Get you places a car never could, and c’n be yer best friend to boot. Well, some people think cars is better but they’re talking outta something that ain’t their mouth.” The Horsemaster made a dismissive gesture, and grinned at Theo. “We got a bunch of new ponies only a few days ago, you c’n pick from them, there’s only a few that ain’t suitable for newbies. Over here.”
He led Theo over to a row of slightly separate looseboxes, six in all, but before he could introduce the first grey head that poked inquisitively out a stable hand ran up.
“Hector? Hector, could you take a look at Brianna’s leg? That idiot Itzal took her out again this morning even though I told him he shouldn’t and now it’s swollen up like a balloon again.”
Hector Ahern’s face darkened and he glanced at Theo.
“Stick to these guys, none of ‘em’ll bite you. You’ll be fine, you’re already good with ‘em. I’m coming, Mark.”
He strode off after the stable hand with some purpose, leaving Theo alone with a curious equine nose snuffling at his shoulder and a sense that he had just been complimented.
The grey pony in the first box was friendly but ultimately uninterested, as was the chestnut in the second. The strawberry roan in the third was far too small for him to ride; it looked like a child’s pony. The fourth pony greeted him with laid-back ears and a horrible face, causing him to scurry onwards to the fifth box, which held another chestnut who appeared to be sleeping; it flicked an ear at his greeting and glanced at him briefly but apparently he wasn’t interesting enough to merit actually moving.
The fifth pony was a bay mare with her back to the door, munching peacefully on her straw bedding. Theo leaned over her door and cleared his throat politely. This had prompted most of the other ponies to saunter up and examine him for food; this mare’s reaction was a little more extreme. Her head shot up and her ears shot back and she spun round and glared horribly at him.
Theo took several steps back in surprise, and the pair of them eyeballed each other from a distance with varying degrees of suspicion.
Eventually Theo realised he was having a staring match with a horse, and coughed a little embarrassedly.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said. “Really.”
The mare looked disbelieving, but deigned to inch one ear forwards. Theo advanced cautiously and held out a hand; she smelled it, and immediately flared her nostrils and put her ear straight back again. This was a little hurtful.
“Oh, come on, now you’re just being silly,” he accused. The mare looked down her nose at him; he leaned on her door and put out a hand to her again. After snorting huffily a couple of times, she deigned to smell it, and this time her ears crept forwards. Theo smiled.
“There. See?”
When Hector Ahern returned he found them in a wary truce, intermittently grooming each other and retreating in case either of them had some sort of betrayal in mind, like biting or putting on a bridle.
“Hello there,” he said, his unexpected voice causing the mare to speedily retreat to the back of the stable again. “Why’s Susie here?”
“Is that her name?” Theo enquired, leaning over the door and trying to entice her forwards again. “I like her. Is she available?”
“Eh, well, yes she is. But she shouldn’t be in with these guys. Susie’s…not a beginner’s pony.”
“Oh,” said Theo, rather disappointed. “Why not?”
“She’s half-Kelpie,” Hector said, eyeing the pony, who eyed him back. “She ain’t much for the drownin’ and eatin’ but she’s a hell of a one for the runnin’ away with you. Any of the others catch yer fancy?”
A little reluctantly Theo followed the Horsemaster down the other boxes while the older man waxed lyrical about their occupants, although he did admit that the roan was too small for him. They both agreed in the end that the grey, a comfortable gelding named Kimon, was the best one for him, at least to begin on. Hector cheerfully went off to get his tack, and Theo absently scratched at the gelding’s neck while Kimon opportunistically searched his pockets for food.
His thoughtful reverie was then broken by the sound of one of the horses kicking their door.
It turned out to be Susie, jerking her head up and down as she battered at the stable door for attention.
“Susie! Don’t be silly,” Theo said severely, approaching the mare, who stopped kicking the door and eyeballed him meaningfully. “You shouldn’t be kicking your door like that.”
The mare looked unrepentant, and a little smug.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
One ear went back, and she treated him to another meaningful stare, this time a warning.
“Oh, that’s nice! Can’t make up your mind if you want attention or not, can you?”
Susie kicked her door again, as though to show that she didn’t really need his attention, he was just convenient. Theo stuck his tongue out at her. She jerked her head and shook her mane at him.
They were still having a very similar dialogue when Hector returned with Kimon’s saddle and bridle. Pausing, the Horsemaster took a moment to watch them, and grinned to himself.
Then he apologised to Kimon and went away again, returning with a different saddle and bridle.
“All right, Theo m’lad, time for your first ridin’ lesson.”
“Okay.”
Theo gave Susie a last pat (she put her ears back at him, on principle), and began to move towards Kimon’s stable. But a clatter behind him made him turn back; Hector had opened the kickbolt on the bottom of Susie’s door. He gave the younger man a nod.
“Comin’ to see howta tack up, are you, or are you gonna go someplace else?”
Theo grinned, and hurried back.
“I’m coming.”